Raising children is difficult in the best of circumstances so adding conflict with the other parent can make it seem almost impossible. Therefore, it is important to make sure you understand how a judge will approach your issues which will help you make the rational and not emotional decisions. There is a difference between legal and physical custody which is different from parenting time, formerly known as visitation, considerations.

 In Virginia, custody for minor children involves two separate custody determinations. There is physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody involves where the child will reside. This determination typically breaks down into either primary or shared custody. Legal custody involves who can make decisions for the minor child as it relates to their health, education and overall welfare. Parents sharing joint legal custody is the normal result, although laws in Virginia allow a parents to have access to medical and educational records regardless of the custody determination.

 The law has evolved resulting in a shift in language from focusing on visitation to determining a parenting time schedule which is in the child’s best interests. The change in language is supposed to reinforce the fact both parents should be active in the child’s life so both parents should have time allocated to them. Visitation implies one parent is doing the work while the other parent stops in on occasion. The law has also changed recently requiring court’s to consider a shared custody arrangement. Shared custody can take many forms from a week on / off schedule or any number of variation. The reality is each situation is unique so each situation will have its own considerations. Therefore, it is imperative to find an attorney who is experienced in evaluating your situation to develop a strategy which can maximize your ability to secure more parenting time.

 Custody litigation is unique due to the stakes and emotions wrapped into any issue involving your children. It is almost impossible for a parent to set aside strongly held beliefs about how their child’s life should be organized and / or safeguards which should be in place. Although, as with any fight, it is essential to ensure you are seeing the battlefield correctly, assess your strengths and weaknesses as well as those of the other party, and develop a comprehensive strategy to address the concerns. It is also important to understand the parent on the other side has similar rights, protections under the law and an ability to pull the balance point their direction. These cases are also complicated by the law allowing custody determinations to be adjusted over time as needed. The law requires a material change in circumstances before a custody / parenting time order can be modified. Given the nature of the law and complexity of these cases, scheduling a consult to speak with a seasoned and experienced attorney can help you understand your current situation while also developing strategies to employ overtime to improve your parenting arrangement.

If you are able to achieve an uncontested divorce, then trust me when I say it will be the best in the long term. Of course, there are reasons to fight and hills which are worth dying on. Your attorney must be able and willing to counsel you on making the rational decisions and not the emotional ones. The defining characteristic is being able to reach a settlement prior to filing a case with the court. The effort will focus on reaching a reasonable settlement based upon the law, particulars of your case and a desire to limit the financial toll by being open to compromise. If you do not have minor children and are able to reach a settlement, then you will only need to be separated for six months to get your divorce.

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